Not Quite Married To The Idea

, , | Romantic | June 17, 2017

(I’m in my mid-20s, female, and single. This is very odd in our small town, as most girls marry fairly young. Occasionally, customers comment on it. I don’t mind too much, as I’ve been burned in past relationships, so I know I’m a little picky when it comes to guys. Then there’s this regular customer…)

Me: “Hi, [Customer]! How are you?”

Customer: “Well, I’m just fine, young lady. How are you? How’s the wedding planning going?”

Me: “Oh, I’m not getting married. You must have me mistaken with someone else!”

Customer: “But why aren’t you?”

Me: “Well, I just haven’t found the right guy yet.”

Customer: “You SHOULD get married! It’s a disgrace, the way you young girls hold out nowadays. Don’t you WANT to get a man?”

Me: “Well, sure, once I find the right oneβ€””

Customer: “You and [Coworker #1] over there. She was engaged last year, and now she’s not. How are you two are as old as you are and aren’t married?”

(The coworker in question is in her early 20s.)

Me: “Um… I really don’t think I should comment on her personal life.”

Customer: “FIND A MAN!”

Me: “I’ll do my best.”

(Customer exits. The coworker in question walks over to me.)

Coworker: *sarcastically* “Right. Because being married to an a** is way better than being single! This town, I swear…”

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  • Flami

    Some customers are just pretty nosy! What if they didn’t want to get married (again)?

  • That customer would hate me. I didn’t get married until I was 35 (and married another woman to boot).

    • Deadpool

      Deadpool supports gay marriage… as long as both chicks are hot!

    • gyorklady

      I’m ace and have no plans on getting married. He wouldn’t like me very much either.

    • Serabeth

      Yeah, he would hate me too. I didn’t go on my first date until I was 23, and I recently turned 29 and have been dating my first boyfriend for 6 months. I guess I’m a late bloomer? Maybe that’s not the word for it, as I probably would’ve dated as young as 16 or 17 if I’d found the right guy. I guess I am just super picky. Either way, I’m very happy with the man I’ve chosen, but I’m glad I didn’t have anyone in my life pressuring me like OP does. Especially not strangers — that’s just creepy.

      Also, I know when I was 18 to 21 (which is when I assume most women in OP’s town marry), I was still very immature and didn’t know what I wanted from life, let alone a relationship. I can’t imagine those marriages have a very high success rate. It seems they should stop pressuring their young people (or is it just the young women?) to marry, and instead let them find their own way in life a bit first.

      • Kraziekat

        What’s a date?

        • Ednaville

          I think it’s a type of fruit

    • Jennifer Nicole

      I’m 30 and have no plans of changing my status from #foreveralone unless somehow I come across a feminist, monogamous man actually interested in me as a person – in other words, a fantastical being.

      • divgradcurl

        Hey, hey, no cause to write off a whole slice of humanity as cousins of the Loch Ness monster! πŸ™‚

        Having said that, I, too am way happier doing my own thing from here on out, than I would ever expect to be with a partner!

      • Katrin Schirmer

        i wasn’t aware i was married to a fantastical being. πŸ˜›

        • Jennifer Nicole

          Why? Is he interested in me? XP

          • Katrin Schirmer

            probably not, hes never met you XD
            he meets all other criteria though, so if you like cuddly computer nerds he might be your type in an alternate reality where he met you instead of me.

          • Jennifer Nicole

            Part of what makes someone fantastical is their interest in me. There are plenty of amazing men out there who aren’t. D;

      • Crystal Lee Owens

        Less rare than unicorns, honestly, since I somehow found one to be both partner and -when I miraculously became pregnant even though doctors told me ‘you can’t have children’ – a wonderful father. They’re out there.

        • Jennifer Nicole

          I know there are great men out there but they have no interest in me. I’m pretty much able to go about my entire world without any harassment or attention since I am so perfectly average that I’m invisible. Except, for some reason, old drunk men. Beer goggles are like x-ray specs or heat sensors or something, where suddenly my disguise is infiltrated.

  • Max

    Well that customer wasn’t creepy as h*ck, nope…

    (Also seriously ugh the censoring on here)

    • Flami

      Heck.

      Edit: Hmm, that actually worked. I was testing to see whether it would or not. H-E-double hockey sticks is probably gonna be censored, though.

      • Max

        I originally used the eff word. I am a foul-mouthed person.

        • Flami

          Ha, I would use that word, too!

        • divgradcurl

          I’m not a pheasant plucker; I’m a pheasant plucker’s mate!
          I’m only plucking pheasants ’cause the pheasant plucker’s late!

      • Deadpool

        I can confirm that the second word does get censored.

        • Flami

          Thanks, Deadpool!

    • EJ Nauls-Poland

      Yeah it’s annoying, but I’ve found that jackass is accepted so I’ve been using that in lieu of smart*ss and as*hole.

    • motherfckngfox

      I think cunt gets through too.

      • Max

        I really hope this isn’t one of those censoring situations where you can throw around all kinds of things, like slurs and other words that people consider to be really horribly offensive, but a bit of mild cussin’ gets blocked to h*ck and back.

  • gyorklady

    Customer: FIND A MAN!

    Me: Okay.

    (goes and searches the aisles, finds a random male customer)

    Me: (pointing) Found one!

    • Kristen

      I found Waldo!

  • Kitty

    “Oh, regular customer! It’s so nice to see you again; and I wanted to say, I took your words to heart. I’m getting married next month. To whom? To Coworker #1!” Cute his head exploding.

  • Rebecca Charlton

    “FIND A MAN.” “BUTT OUT OF MY PERSONAL LIFE YOU HORRIBLE HARRIDAN.”

  • Cody Wright

    Utah?

    • RallyLock

      Could be any place. There’s a small town in Minnesota, just a few miles south of my own hometown, with a very large Hutterite population that’s like this – kids start dating their sophomore year of high school, get married the summer after graduating, go to college just long enough to get a degree, move back to that town (or at least somewhere nearby) and find a job, and start having LOTS of kids.

      One slightly-elderly teacher in that town has something like 55 grandchildren, all of whom live within 60 miles of his own house. He and his wife – both of whom also grew up in that town – have 9 kids together. Each of those 9 kids is now married, with at least 5 kids each (and most of them have more). I’ve substitute taught for this teacher a few times the last few years – one entire wall of his classroom is just the names in his family tree. He and his wife on top, then their kids and their sons/daughters-in-law, then their grandkids.

  • Autumn Darian Sabisch

    What is this, freaking Anatevka?
    “Even the worst husband, Godforbid, is better than no husband, God forbid. And who should know better than me?”

  • Jami

    I can top that. I have library patrons often bugging me about why I don’t have kids. They refuse to accept that Childfree By Choice people exist. So I started saying I don’t have a husband, usually works, except with one guy whose reply was “Go to a bar and trick a man into getting you pregnant. Children don’t need a father” – IN FRONT OF HIS WIFE AND KIDS!

    Next time I’m just going to say I had a hysterectomy due to a growth they feared was cancerous (which is true, mostly, I sought it out originally due to severe anemia). See how they react to that.

  • Lorne Smith

    Just tell her that your personal life is none of her business…

  • Pickwick2

    If I had regular customers like that one, I’d be looking for a different job. None. Of. Its. Business.

  • Nuckin Futz

    time warp?