Not Pregnant With Information

(My mother is the oldest of eight children. She is the first to marry and to start having children of her own. Of my mother’s children, I am the eldest. All of my mother’s siblings marry and proceed to have children of their own throughout the course of my life. Every year, someone is announcing a wedding, a pregnancy, or a birth. While I am genuinely happy for my ever-growing extended family, I don’t feel the same amount of joy as my mother does, due to the fact that I never get to see these relatives except for every couple of years, as opposed to my mother who visits everyone once or twice a year. I’m 20 years old and attending college out of state, so my only communication with my parents is a weekly phone call, which is usually brief. I’m home for Christmas break when my mother’s youngest sibling — my youngest aunt — calls. Note: this takes place when social media is in its infancy and most people don’t have a Facebook page.)

Mother: “Hello?” *pause* “Oh, that’s wonderful! I’m really glad everything went well.” *pause* “Don’t worry; I’ll call [various Aunts and Uncles] and let them know, too.” *pause* “You rest and take it easy. Love you. Bye.”

Me: “What’s going on with [Youngest Aunt]?”

Mother: “What do you mean? She just had the baby!”

Me: “Huh… She and the baby are okay, I’m guessing?”

Mother: “Yes, yes, they’re both doing well. What do you mean, ‘huh’? Aren’t you excited?”

Me: “Mom, I didn’t know she was even pregnant.”

Mother: “Of course you did. She announced the pregnancy back in May at [Cousin]’s baptism.”

Me: “I didn’t go to that.”

Mother: “I told you about her baby shower I was going to back in October.”

Me: “You mentioned a baby shower, but you didn’t say who it was for. I assumed it was for one of your friends from church who had a daughter that was pregnant.”

Mother: “She was admitted yesterday morning!”

Me: “And I was on the road yesterday morning, if you remember. I didn’t get here until almost dinnertime.”

Mother: *dumbfounded* “I really didn’t tell you?”

Me: “I wouldn’t be surprised if only you and Dad knew, which is sad since [Youngest Sibling] still lives here.”

Mother: “You could at least be a little more excited!”

(As if on cue, my other two siblings head down the stairs, unaware of our conversation, and my mother shouts to them.)

Mother: “[Youngest Aunt] just had her baby!”

(The two of them look at each other, confused, then look towards me.)

Me: “I told you they didn’t know.” *to my siblings* “Apparently, we have another cousin.”

(For those who are curious, the cousin mentioned in this story was the last one, making twelve cousins, just on my mother’s side of the family.)