Not A Picture-Perfect Celebrity Encounter

, | Right | June 7, 2017

(I’m a public photographer at a local dolphin park, meaning I stand at the entrance and ask people if they want to have their picture taken, which they can purchase at a kiosk later, granted that they like the picture. I approach a man and a woman.)

Me: “Good day, would you like to have your picture taken?”

Guest: “What does that cost?”

Me: “The pictures are eight euros each, but it’s totally non-binding if you choose not to purchase the picture.”

Guest: “Eight euros? That little? That’s ridiculous! We mostly charge way more for our pictures!”

Me: *thinking i misheard him* “Ehm, excuse me?”

Guest: *points at the woman* “Don’t you know who this is! She’s famous! Hence, YOU should pay us for the right of taking a picture of us! I can’t believe you don’t know who she is!”

Me: “With all due respect, I have never seen you people in my life and even if you were somehow famous, the picture still costs eight euros to purchase.”

(The woman stands there smugly, but says nothing all this time.)

Guest: “I’m her manager! I tell you, she’s famous!” *suddenly smiling* “Lucky you, getting to take a picture of this celebrity! This is [Woman]!” *as if it should ring an obvious bell*

Me: “Again, I have never heard of you nor seen you. If you choose not to get a picture, that is fine…”

Guest: “I do! But you gotta pay me.”

Me: “No. It doesn’t work that way.”

Guest: “Well, FINE then! But you missed out on an opportunity to photograph [Woman]. She’s famous!”

(They stormed off. Judging on how they looked it was probably one of those Dutch-Schlager genre karaoke singers. We have a lot of those here in the Netherlands; people who can’t exactly sing but still change their name to ‘Singer Whatever,’ because they sang over an pre-programmed synth beat once and recorded it and think they are Lady Gaga ever since.)

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