Not Much Assurance About The Insurance, Part 4

(I work in a call center for car insurance. We currently have a promotion for people over 50, where if their info matches up from last year (same registration, same main occupation, same people on policy, etc.) then we’ll price match their renewal offer from their existing company, and knock off an extra £50. Any deviation from what we need to match up means we can’t offer the promotion anymore: eg. if it was just one person on their original policy, and they want to add a second driver this time round, etc. They then have to send in their renewal premium as proof, as long as it matches, they’ll get the money refunded to make it the price of the over 50s offer.

This sort of thing happens constantly:)

Me: “And what is your current job?”

Customer #1: “Taxi driver.”

Me: “Okay, and is that what your job was last year on your renewal premium? Just checking it off my list.”

Customer #1: “No, I was working at a fish and chip place.”

Me: “Well, I’m sorry, but we can’t give you the offer, as your info no longer matches.”

Customer #1: “Well, just make it match, then!”

Me: “I’m sorry, what do you mean, sir?”

Customer #1: “Just say that I’m still working as a cashier at the fish and chip place!”

Me: “I can’t do that, sir. You’ve already told me that you’re a taxi driver.”

Customer #1: “So? Why can’t you change it? I said you have to make it match, so just make it match!”

Me: “It’s illegal to lie on your insurance, sir, and I can’t help you do that know that you’ve told me what your actual job is.”

Customer #1: “Well, I’ll just take my business elsewhere!” *hangs up*

(Another caller:)

Me: “And your main job?”

Customer #2: “I’m retired now, but I still do clergy work and service on the side.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll put you down as retired but ‘clergy’ in the part time occupation; is that the same as last year?”

Customer #2: “Last year I was a full-time clergy. I’m retired now, though.”

Me: “Okay, well, I’m sorry, but you don’t qualify for the offer as your info no longer matches up to last year.”

Customer #2: “What do you mean? I’m still a clergy, so of course it matches up.”

Me: “I know you said you still do it on the side, but you are fully retired now and that changes aspects of the quote, and it doesn’t match up anymore because you weren’t retired last year.”

Customer #2: “But I am a MAN. OF. GOD! That will never change! It’s not your usual type of job; I’ll never not be a clergy!”

Me: “That’s fair enough sir, but the main issue here is that you’re retired, but you weren’t last year. it doesn’t match up anymore.”

Customer #2: “OF COURSE IT MATCHES UP! I AM A MAN OF GOD! I WILL ALWAYS BE A MAN OF GOD! THAT WON’T CHANGE SO IT STILL MATCHES!”

Me: “Again, I understand that, but YOU. ARE. RETIRED. NOW. You were NOT retired last year; you ARE retired this year. IT. DOES. NOT. MATCH.”

Customer #2: “Well, this was a waste of time!” *hangs up*

(Yet another caller:)

Customer #3: “Oh, I’m so confused by this, Why do you have to make this so complicated!?”

Me: “I’ll try to explain again, sir. I’ve gotten all of your info, from what you’ve told me. It matches. We will charge you the full price now, and when you receive the free post envelope, send your renewal premium to us. When we see it matches, we’ll refund you the money for the offer.”

Customer #3: “Oh, but that’s so confusing. Why are you making it so difficult? Why can’t you just take it off now?”

Me: “We can’t do that, as we don’t know that it matches. Just send us your renewal premium and we’ll refund the money. That’s it.”

Customer #3: “Oh, but that’s so confusing. Why can’t you just take the price down now?”

Me: “I’ve already explained, sir. We just need the proof that it matches. We’ll send a free-postage envelope. Just send it in that and we’ll refund the money.”

Customer #3: “But that’s so complicated! Why can’t you just take the money off now?!”

Me: *face-palm*

(And my favourite:)

Customer #4: *who did a quote online first before phoning* “THIS IS ABSOLUTELY OUTRAGEOUS! YOU SAID IF IT MATCHED UP, YOU’D SAVE ME £50, BUT YOUR PRICE IS NEARLY £100 MORE EXPENSIVE! THIS IS FALSE ADVERTISING! HOW DARE YOU LIE TO ME!”

Me: “Miss, the point of the offer is to give you a refund AFTER we see proof, and you did the quote online. Did you expect our website to just magically know what your renewal price was and it would automatically take the money off for you?”

Customer #4: *silence, then hangs up*