Not Making Any Good Connections

, , , , , | Working | June 8, 2020

I’m currently having issues with my Internet; everything we have access to has already been reset, cables checked, all the first-run tech solutions. It’s time to do the most dreaded task known to man: call tech support.

After a forty-five-minute hold, I finally get through to talk to someone. It doesn’t help that his accent is so thick it’s actually impressive; I’m only including it because it may partially explain the problems we have. I explain my problem.

Tech #1: “Okay, is your phone and television also having problems?”

Me: “No, my TV’s fine and I’m talking to you on my phone.”

Tech #1: “Not your cell phone, sir, your home phone.”

Me: *Pause* “I’m talking to you on my home phone, not my cell phone.”

Tech #1: “Okay, well, I will need to be resetting your FIOS box. Are you knowing to do that?”

Me: “Technically, but it’s in a storage closet and it would take forever to get to. Also, that will kick us from this call.”

Tech #1: “No, sir, resetting your FIOS box will not disconnect your cell phone.”

Me: “I already told you. I’m not on my cell phone; I’m on my landline. I only have a landline because my apartment has terrible cell service and I can’t make calls on it while inside.”

Tech #1: “Okay, sir, I am understanding, but I am needing to reset your FIOS box, which I can do remotely without affecting your cell phone. Can you please stay on the line with me while I do this?”

Me: “No, because the landline goes through the FIOS box, and I will get disconnected.”

Tech #1: “I assure you again, sir, y—”

And that is when his signal to reset the box goes through, and — shocker — it disconnects the call. Two minutes later, my phone’s back up and I call back, this time waiting nearly an hour. The new tech has a different, much lighter accent.

Tech #2: “I see you already have an open ticket; are you calling about the same problem?”

Me: “Yes, I am, and the last tech I talked with reset my FIOS box disconnecting my call and now I had to wait another hour to talk to someone.”

Tech #2: “I am very sorry for that, sir. I can see in our system there is actually a network outage in your area; crews are already working on it.”

Me: “That makes sense. Thank you for letting me know… Please tell me this isn’t a two-hours-old issue that the last guy just never looked up?”

Tech #2: “I’m sorry, sir, my system does not show exactly when it started, but… Oh, dear.”

Me: “Well, that doesn’t sound good!”

Tech #2: “No, I am sorry. I just looked up the record and your last technician is still in training; he should not have taken a call on his own yet.”

Me: *Pause* “Gooood, and let me guess you probably shouldn’t be telling me that, either?”

Tech #2: *Pause* “IsthereanythingelseIcanhelpyouwithtodaysir?”

I burst out laughing; I needed that after the last two hours of annoyance. I also did take the survey you always get via email for once, saying that [Tech #2] was great, but [Tech #1] needed to be trained how to actually listen to and comprehend the customers.

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