Not Lifting A Finger To Help

(I am in the kitchen, cutting fruits for a fruit salad I am making. My fiancé is in the other room, playing on his computer. While we can hear each other and converse normally, we cannot see each other.)

Me: “I really love this knife! It’s so sharp.”

Fiancé: “Whoo!”

Me: “It cuts through the melons so smoothly, there’s hardly any resistance.”

Fiancé: “Yay!”

Me: *thinking he’s not really listening* “Whoops! Just cut my finger off.”

Fiancé: “Yay!”

Me: “The knife cut it so smoothly, it didn’t even hurt. Just came clean off.”

Fiancé: “Whoo!”

Me: “Your concern is so overwhelming.”

Fiancé: “If you really cut your finger off, you’d be making a lot more noise.”