Not Liable To Be A Slow Reader

(I’m going in to get an eye exam. Before the exam, I’m filling out some paperwork.)

Me: “Excuse me, there’s a required check mark here stating that I’ve read the liability document, but I haven’t read it yet. May I have a copy, please?”

Optometrist: “Oh, well, most people don’t need to read it. It just says that we can’t be held liable if something bad happens as a result of misuse of the glasses.”

Me: “No offense, but I’m not the kind of person that signs something without reading it. May I please have a copy?”

Optometrist: “Fine, but it’s going to take you half an hour to read the whole thing.”

(He gives me a single laminated paper that has text on both sides. The text is rather small, but I doubt anybody would take more than ten minutes to read it. I’m finished in about three minutes.)

Me: “All right, I’m done.”

Optometrist: “Oh, really? Wow, I didn’t know you could read so fast.”

(He dropped his rude demeanor after that, although the guy that actually gave me the exam was nice throughout the whole process!)