Not Kidding

(My mother still refuses to accept the fact I don’t want children, and has lately been obsessed with ‘grandbabies’. She also has a lack of boundaries and an uncanny ability to suss me out.)

Me: “So, I met up with [old flame] yesterday.”

Mum: “Oh, my God. You slept with him, didn’t you?”

Me: “What? How did you know?!”

Mum: “Were you careful? Did you use protection?”

Me: “Oh, my God, mother- yes! Of course!”

Mum: “…D***!”