Not Kidding Around With This Menu

Customer: “Could my kid get, like, a small dish of pasta or something?”

Me: “Sure, let me get you the kid’s menu.”

Customer: *Annoyed.* “I just want a few pieces of pasta and maybe some orange slices.”

Me: “Right. The kid’s menu.”

Customer: “I don’t want to order anything! I just want you to put together a quick plate.”

Me: “I can’t serve anything unless it’s ordered from the menu.”

Customer: “Ugh! I don’t understand why you can’t just throw something together!”

Me: “Because, ma’am, I need to know what to charge. I’m assuming from your wording you’re hoping that your child can eat for free. We don’t do that here, ma’am. You can order from the kid’s menu.”

Customer: “This restaurant isn’t very parent friendly!”

Me: “We have a very affordable kid’s menu, ma’am. If you’re not happy with the food on there we allow parents to bring their own food for their children. I think that’s pretty friendly.”

Customer: “Well, can you give him a slice of cake or something?”

I wordlessly slide over the kid’s menu to her.

Customer: “For f*** sake!” *Storms off.*