Not In Your Nature

(I work the cash register at a popular electronics store, and sometimes our customers just pick things up from the display that they want to buy. It’s not uncommon. One day an elderly lady approached the counter with a radio in its original packaging.)

Me: “Hi there!”

Customer: “Hello. Can you check to see if everything is in the box?”

Me: “Oh, of course! Did you pick it up from the display?”

(I start checking in the box.)

Customer: “What?”

Me: “Did you pick the radio up from the display? Is that why you wanted me to check?”

Customer: “What’s that supposed to mean?! I can’t control everything; I’m just an old lady! The display… How am I supposed to know that?”

Me: “I guess you didn’t. Well everything is in order here! That’ll be [price].”

Customer: “What batteries does it use?”

Me: “Well, let’s check!”

(I search the box for hints on batteries, but find nothing, and come to the understanding that it doesn’t use batteries, only electricity.)

Me: “I’m sorry, it only uses electricity, not batteries.”

Customer: “But what if I want to listen to it outside? There’s no electricity in God’s free nature!”

Me: “As long as you have a plug nearby or a long enough cord, you’ll be fine.”

Customer: “But there are NO PLUGS IN GOD’S FREE NATURE!”

Me: “That’s why you’ll need the cord. It’ll be just fine.”

Customer: “So I can listen to it outside? Batteries?’

Me: “No batteries, only electricity.”

Customer: “But I’ll be out in GOD’S FREE NATURE!”

Me: “…and that’s gonna work just fine as long as you plug it in.”

Customer: “It’ll work? In God’s nature?”

Me: “It’ll work.”

(The customer came back the next week to return the radio, but she was a lot calmer, and was overjoyed when she got her money back.)