Not In Love With The Shape Of You

Customer: *walks up to my register* “You look so yummy!”

Me: *nervous* “Umm, thank you?”

Customer: “Not you! That!”

(She points at a leaflet on the counter about a sale we are offering on baked goods.)

Me: “Oh, thank goodness. I thought I was going to have to call security for a second.”

Customer: “Well, I wasn’t going to say you look yummy, in any case. You’ve got a lazy eye. Only Ed Sheeran looks yummy with a lazy eye!”