Not Happy With The Choices Of Happiness

, , , , | Right | August 23, 2017

Me: “Hi there, order whenever you’re ready.”

Customer: “I’d like two [Children’s] meals.”

(Waits a bit.)

Me: “Okay… do you want the hamburger, cheeseburger, four-piece or six-piece nuggets, or [Specialty Sandwich]?”

Customer: “The nuggets.”

Me: “Okay, which one?”

Customer: “The smaller one.”

Me: “Okay, and would you like apple slices or gogurt?”

Customer: “Apples.”

Me: “Would you like the boy toy or girl toy?”

Customer: “Whaaaat…? Okay, this is too complicated; I’ll catch ya later, sweetie.” *drives off*

(She came back about 30 minutes later, gave it another go, and she dealt with it more constructively.)

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  • Jyazen

    Boy toy… *gigglesnort*

    • Cor

      One boy toy coming up! *Gives you a hot, hunky male model person dude*

      [EDIT] Forgot to mention he’s rich

      • An Oni Mouse

        and the girl toy is a… shapely set of hips… and everything you can read between the lines.

    • Ainoko_Ironrose

      Boy toys are more fun, especially the ones located below the waist.

      • Matt Westwood

        More, er, moving parts?

        • Ainoko_Ironrose

          Nope, the sausage in the front and the doughnut in the back

          • Matt Westwood

            … as opposed to the burger in the front and the doughnut in the back?

  • Ah Burger King. I’ll never forget how half of the responses to that series of questions ended with something along the lines of “What is this? A game of 20 questions?”.

    • Katrin Schirmer

      yes, and the prize is dinner!

      • Matilda

        Oh it’s must be free then!

        • Katrin Schirmer

          nah, theres an entry fee in this contest.

      • Kryss LaBryn

        The prize is the dinner you actually want instead of whatever they feel like throwing at you just then.

  • Peter

    Is “boy toy or girl toy” really the “official” fast food script? I thought it was standard now to ask “do you want the action figure or the pony?” and let the customer sort out what sort of toy their child might like most.

    • Carrie C

      They tried making us change but when we asked the custonmers “Is that a doll toy or a car?” I swear their heads exploded from the new question. They just could not process it.

    • Aku

      My local ‘golden arches’ has been doing neutral toys for months now (emoji), but before they’d ask “For a boy or girl?”

    • Charlotte M Spurrill-Kayser

      Pretty sure the ones around here always ask “boy toy or girl toy?”

    • Larry Berry

      It’s been ages since I’ve had any dealings with it, but at the time ours was to ask if they wanted the Hot Wheels or the Barbie. Most Girls even wanted the Hot Wheels, I think not in small part due to the fact that the Hot Wheels had moving parts and did something (at least rolled) while the Barbie toys were just solid plastic, no articulation, so weren’t even very enticing to a barbie fan.

    • Lorelei

      For the record, I live in Poland and I don’t think I have ever heard it asked as “boy or girl” at McDonald’s. It’s always just “which toy?”, or actually describing the toys.

    • LiberalsAreCancer

      Found the SJW.

      • AussieEevee

        You?

      • ColdHeart322

        Found the troll.

      • Harvey Skaggs

        It’s not hard to find people who are committed to a society where genders aren’t split into “cool toys for boys” and “sh*tty pink toys for girls”. Most people want things to be BET-TER.

        People who use “SJW” as a pejorative term don’t realise that things can be better. They think that human society must freeze in time and not change. Well if that happened we’d still be b*tt-f*cking young boys like the Greeks used to. There HAS to be change in society.

        And if you’re not the kind of person who can HANDLE change, then you’re already turning into a grumpy old b*sterd who complains about everything, and you might as well just k*ll yourself now, because this world is going to be REAL uncomfortable for you in 5, 10, 15, 20 years. You will feel more alienated and more angry than ever. You’ll be the old homeless guy yelling on the street about SJW’s while everyone steps over you to get on with their cool futuristic lives in a futuristic progressive society.

        Or you’ll get a clue. But I don’t think people like you would know what to DO with a clue if you had one. So, enjoy the wrong side of history.

    • Dani

      Asking for “boy toy” or “girl toy” was absolutely in the script when I worked there, but that was 15 years ago now. I’d hoped they’d done away with it by now, because I remember having several upset little girls who didn’t want to ask for a “boy” toy but REALLY wanted a car/action figure/whatever else there was. The “girl” toys often sucked tbh… i would’ve wanted “boy” toys as a kid too!!

    • Gretchen

      I am not from the US, but I have never been asked if the toy is for a boy or a girl, they always just ask which one we want. Might also be because there are always more options than two (around ten). And I am talking from experience from when I was a kid and was the one getting the toys, and from now when I have seen kids get the kid meals, so quite a time difference as well. I think it is a better option anyway, I cringe every time anyone describes something as a “girl” thing or a “boy” thing. It’s just a thing!

      • Novelista

        I don’t pay much attention to the toys being given out these days; but in the past, when they were single-gendered, there were more than two options, but they used it as a marketing ploy to get you to come back from week to week. (i.e. If they were handing out cars in five different colors, you couldn’t get #2 one day and #3 the next, you had to come back the following week to get #3.)

        When I was in ninth grade, Burger King gave out Backstreet Boys action figures, so I ended up having BK once a week for a month straight. (I ended up missing one of the five.)

    • ladypalutena

      I remember they used to ask Boy or Girl in reference to the toy when I was little. I remember collecting all of the Hello Kitty products at one point, and then getting all of the Bug’s Life toys at another point (but those might’ve been all across the board and not gender-specific).

    • Matt Westwood

      It still bewilders me that you need to bribe people with tat in order to get them to eat your vile puke, [disgusting fast-food chain].

      • Alétheia

        Nah, the tat is for keeping the children quiet while the adults finish eating their own puke-like food. The kids don’t need to be bribed to eat said “food”… usually. 😛

    • WonderRabbit

      Little does the customer know, either way they get a plain silver fidget spinner.

    • Kathy Joy

      Depends on when this story was – I remember as I kid my mother being asked if we wanted the ‘boy toy’ or the ‘girl toy’ rather than the specific toy set. That was the standard then.

  • HappyHighwayman

    Non doubt she’d come in to complain you got her order wrong if you didn’t ask all those questions

  • Max

    “Welcome to Psychic Burger, your total is £5.95, please drive up to the window.”

    • EJ Nauls-Poland

      Reminds me of that one episode of Cyanide & Happiness

      • Michael Hughes

        a big plate of D1111cks—how yummy wummy

    • AussieEevee

      Yes, Please! We need psychics in our fast food restaurants.

  • Larry Berry

    I had a guy that I couldn’t even get that far. We didn’t even have the choice of sides at that time, it was only fries. So he ordered his big mac and fries and a happy meal. I asked if he wanted hamburger, cheeseburger or nuggets with the Happy Meal. “*SIGH* I want a big mac, med fries and a Happy Meal”
    “Okay did you want the happy meal with a hamburger, cheeseburger or nuggets?”
    “*HUGE SIGH* I JUST WANT A BIG MAC, MED FRIES AND A HAPPY MEAL!!!” I just gave up and rang it in as a hamburger happy meal and hope it was what the kid wanted, since his dad was stupid.

    • Lorelei

      I guess it didn’t occur to him that Happy Meals come in more than one variant, and he thought you kept asking what he wanted apart from the Happy Meal.

  • Rachel Schmachel

    When I was a kid, there were no options except for the drink. You got a cheeseburger, fries and whichever toy was on promotion that week. And we liked it!

    • Eilonwy_has_an_aardvark

      Yes! I had a whole set of Jack in the Box (California hamburger chain) Bendable Buddies.This included the Secret Sauce Agent (who looked like a MAD magazine Spy vs. Spy character) and an anthropomorphic onion ring. No tie-ins with movies or popular toys: the toy premiums advertised the chain itself.

    • AussieEevee

      Caaaaan’t do that! What about our kids health! Waaaaa! Think of the kids and their health!

      Yeah. I find the whole push towards fruit and all that to be nonsense too… I mean, if I wanted to make healthy food, I’d do it at home… Taking the kids to a fast food place seems more like a treat to me.

      • Kryss LaBryn

        When it’s your neighbourhood one, I agree; but if you’re travelling one often ends up at a chain for the known quantity. There comes a point, when travelling for days without a fridge, that the *option* (that one does not need to take) for a bit of fruit instead of more bloody french fries appeals strongly to the kids as well as the adults.

        • AussieEevee

          Honestly though, if i wanted fruit for my kids when travelling. I still wouldn’t go to McD or similar.

          Have you seen the packets of apple they serve? You’d barely get any filling out of it. Better to get some fruit from a servo or supermarket.

      • Estil Rumage

        The idea of going to a fast food place is to get away from that health stuff 😛

  • Nadine Mealey MacDonald

    A lot of places are either offering gender-neutral toys or specifying which toy is which.

  • ladypalutena

    I’ve got a friend who works at a fast food place. When people irritate her, and they’re being vague enough that even though she knows what they want from the general idea of it, she’ll go through all the options of each thing. Like if they want a chicken nugget meal, the chain has grilled or fried chicken in two different sizes, and she’ll ask them “Grilled or fried?” and then “Eight or twelve?” and then “Would you like to upgrade your fries to one of our other side options?” etc. if they don’t clarify when they first order. It’s irritating to the customer, but it’s not outside of the sort of customer service they’re supposed to be providing. She does it to irritate people because they can’t complain about her if she’s just doing her job. (She doesn’t do it to everyone, though. Just the buttheads.)

  • queenofputrescence

    I did a summer at McDonalds twenty years ago and even then I refused to ask boy or girl toy. I just asked if they wanted toy A or toy B.

    • ThatGirl

      Good for you! This is how McD***s should be training their employees. The “boy” toy and the “girl” toy are usually two different franchises and it’s not any harder to ask “Do you want the Barbie toy or the Transformers toy?”

  • AussieEevee

    Is it just me or does it feel wrong to ask for girl toy or boy toy? I mean, when I was growing up, I knew girls that played cars and similar toys.And of course, Pokemon Power Rangers Transformers and all that kind of thing.

    What? The story? I dunno…. if choosing between two options is hard, I have to wonder how you made it to adulthood…

    • Hahn Ackles

      I had a friend who volunteered with… it was either Toys for Tots or the Salvation Army, I don’t remember which… and ended up quitting over that sort of thing. As a science major she didn’t take well to being told that a toy microscope had to go in the “boy toys” pile.

  • Blake Barrett

    Sounds like a customer we had when I was working for the colonel during college. My manager takes the order and asks if they wanted original recipe or extra crispy. He asked what side dishes the guy wanted. That’s when he lost it and said “fvck this!” and left. Yes, get angry at us because we gave you choices.

  • Charles Ulric Phillips

    Unless the toys are supposed to be used on the genitals, gendering them is stupid.

    • Dsru Bin

      Maybe OP wasn’t gendering them but providing literal adjectives? “No, really, one is a boy and one is a girl.”

    • Holly

      ITA, and yet McDonald’s keeps doing it. It’s nothing in the OP’s control.

  • Kitty

    I don’t want a gendered toy. I want the Disgust emoji (German McDs offer that right now), no more and no less.

  • Harvey Skaggs

    Americans are conditioned by society, by television, and by the internet, to avoid mental effort. *Thinking* is “too hard”.

    You think I’m picking on you, Americans, but have you travelled? It is NOT LIKE THAT everywhere else. In other places it is COOL to know things, and it’s COOL to use your brain, and to get better at using it all the time.

    American exceptionalism, my ass

    • Ainoko_Ironrose

      Please don’t generalize all Americans as conditioned to avoid any and all mental effort, there is a good number of us who are well traveled, know how to think and consider the outcomes of our actions.

      You know, we can say the same thing you said about Americans about people from other countries.

  • Darth Pseudonym

    I’m just going to assume the customer was high af.