Not Gobbling That Down

I worked at a popular breakfast chain. We’re serving the typical after-church crowd, so I didn’t expect a tip beyond a fake hundred-dollar bill with a psalm on it or a lecture on how I’m going to Hell for not accepting Jesus. For context: I’m Jewish. I wear several charms on my jewelry with Jewish imagery.

Anyway. My table is two men, two women. I get their drinks (water with extra lemon and sugar, of course, so they can make their own lemonade instead of paying for a glass of our fresh stuff).

We talk about breakfast combos, what kind of fruit can be added to hotcakes, etc. One woman eventually asks if she can order lunch, to which I replied that, of course, she can.

She can order anything she wants at any time of the day.

So, she looks back at me and says:

Customer: “Is there turkey on your turkey club sandwich?”

All three of the other adults stared at her. I stared at her.

She stared back like she could not, for the life of her, understand why she was getting a look like she had grown a second head. So, I said:

Me: “Yes, ma’am. There is definitely turkey… on our turkey sandwich.”

So, she orders it. Her husband still looked confused, and I should have clocked that as being suspicious, but I didn’t immediately. I rang in her sandwich, brought it back, and they started eating.

I go to get drink refills and do the three-bite check. I get back to them. Madam Turkey is not eating.

Me: “Is there anything wrong?”

Customer: “There’s turkey on it.”

I swear to God, I wanted to just turn around and walk right back out the door and just keep walking until I reached a place with no humans.