Not Gifted In The Art Of Returns

| Right | May 11, 2015

(While starting up my medical program, I am working at an outdoor style clothing store in the mall. We are pretty busy, resulting in me being stuck on the register since I am the fastest at it.  I am the team leader for the current shift when this guy comes in with a hand full of socks, two shirts, and a pair of jeans. With him is a reasonably attractive woman, who I believe is his wife, since they have matching wedding bands on.)

Me: “Hey, how are you? What can I do for you?”

Customer: “Well, my secretary got me all this stuff for my birthday and none of it is my style. I have never shopped at [Store] before and I don’t intend to. Not to mention none of these fit.”

Me: “Oh, no problem. Do you happen to have the receipt or gift receipt?”

(The man sighs, tapping the jeans with the palm of his hands.)

Customer: “No, why would I? It was a gift. I told you that.”

Me: “Which is why I asked if you had a gift receipt. It’s all good, though. I can still get these returned for you. I don’t remember any of these having a sale outside of our coupons.”

(I ring everything up, coming up with a decent amount, and let him know.)

Me: “So, no, nothing was on sale, so I can give you the full price of it all. However, I can only do a gift card or a merchandise credit.”

Customer: “WHAT?! Just give me the cash!”

Me: “I cannot do that. The register doesn’t even give me the option to do that. I will, unfortunately, also need your driver license to finalize the return.”

Customer: “This is absolutely uncalled for! I am NOT giving your my license! I am NOT taking store credit! I told you I NEVER SHOP HERE! There is NOTHING you have that I want! I want to talk to who’s in charge!”

Me: “Hello, that’s me.”

(I smile and wave at him like an anime character.)

Customer: “This is absolute bull-s***! You are an a**-hole! I can’t believe you don’t want to help me!”

Me: “I am helping you. You just don’t want the help.”

(At this point he grabs everything, while still screaming about how the ‘Return Anything Without A Receipt’ sign is a lie, so I point out where it says ‘Store Credit.’ As he’s screaming profanities at this point, I tell him he needs to leave or I’m having the police escort him out, since they have officers walking the mall. He hands the items to the woman, and he can’t help but scream one more time.)

Customer: “I am NEVER shopping here again!

Me: “According to you, you never shopped here to begin with! You’re kind of like a vegetarian boycotting KFC: It doesn’t matter.”

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