Not Getting To The Meat Of The Problem, Part 5

(My friend and I are babysitting our friend’s five-year-old son so that she can attend a Christmas party for her work. We decide, since he is behaving well, to order pizza for dinner while we watch his ‘Thomas the Tank Engine’ movies. I call and am placing the order:)

Friend’s Son: “Can I tell the lady what I would like on my pizza?”

Me: “Sure. Speak clearly and use your manners.”

Friend’s Son: “Okay!” *into the phone* “Pepperoni on my pizza, please!”

(I take the phone back and he runs to play with his trains.)

Me: “Okay, on the second pizza I would like…” *I prattle off a list of vegetables, as I am a vegetarian and my friend loves veggie pizza anyway*

Worker: “Anything else?”

Me: “Yeah, are there any veggies I forgot?”

Worker: *silent for almost a minute* “Umm… ham? I don’t know my vegetables.”

Me: *speechless*

Worker: “So, ham?”

Me: “No, thanks. Uh, that’s all.”

(I hang up the phone and tell my friend what happened, to which he laughs and is simultaneously shocked and amused.)

Me: “Let me test something.” *calls five-year-old over* “Honey, is ham a meat or a vegetable?”

Friend’s Son: *confused* “It is a meat! Why?”

Me: “The pizza lady thought it was a vegetable.”

Friend’s Son: *digging in his toy drawer for more train tracks* “Maybe she should go back to kindergarten.”