Botoxic Sale Technique

(I’m 11 years old, and at the dermatologist to get a wart frozen off my hand. My mom and I are making a follow-up appointment with the receptionist.)

Receptionist: “Oh, before you go, you can have this!”

(She hands me a coupon for a Botox treatment.)

Me: “Uh, I don’t really think I want this…”

Receptionist: “No, it’s great! I’ve had it done there a couple times and it doesn’t hurt or anything!”

(She gestures to her face, which had been creeping me out already because I’d never seen somebody look so much like a live Barbie doll.)

Me: “But it’s poison! Mom, the lady’s trying to sell me poison!”

(My mother has finished putting the appointment into her PDA, snatches the coupon from my hands, and smacks it down onto the stack it came from.)

Mom: “NO THANK YOU!”

(We hurried out to the car.)