Not Exactly Dating A Stud-Muffin

(My partner has brought home a four-pack of muffins for breakfast. He fails to tell me that it was meant for more than just the two of us, so I eat two as he leaves for a moment.)

Partner: “You ate my muffin!”

Me: “I thought they were meant for just us, two muffins each!”

Partner: “You ate my muffin!”

Me: “Accidentally! “There will be other muffins!”

Partner: “But not THIS muffin! You ate my muffin!”

Me: “Come on. Our love is stronger than a muffin!”

Partner: “No, it’s not.”

Me: “So you’re saying food is more important to you than I am?”

Partner: “Yes. YOU ATE MY MUFFIN, AND NOW YOU MUST DIE!”