Not Even Remotely Possible

, , , , , | | Related | May 26, 2018

(Growing up, my father had real temper issues. Often when faced with a simple problem he would become unstuck. When this happened, rather than just solving the problem, he would inevitably throw a temper tantrum and start blaming people. One Christmas, we get a PlayStation and we are absolutely thrilled. Our dad, on the other hand, seems to object to it and is constantly moaning about it’s “wasting electricity” and how playing it will “make us stupid!” Over the holidays, we decide to have a party, and we invite most of the neighbours. To keep the kids entertained, we set up the PlayStation in the living room and we all take turns playing on it. Afterwards, we are clearing up, and suddenly I hear my dad making angry noises from the living room.)

Dad: “[MY NAME], GET IN HERE NOW!”

(Nervously, I make my to the living room. I’m not sure how I could be in trouble since we cleaned up and tidied away the console and all the games, and hoovered the room. When I get there, my dad looks really frustrated and is holding the TV remote in his hand.)

Dad: “YOUR BLOODY PLAYSTATION HAS BROKEN THE REMOTE!”

Me: “Sorry… What?”

Dad: “YOU HEARD ME! NOW FIX IT!”

Me: “Dad, that’s not even possible; the remote is not connected to it!”

Dad: “No, you left that stupid thing on for too long, and it’s obviously broken it. Look!”

(My dad tries to turn on the TV, but nothing happens. I’ve had this issue before and I know how to solve it.)

Me: “Dad, there must be a problem with the batteries. Have you tried moving them around or replacing them?”

Dad: “Stop making excuses. Now, turn this thing on and fix it!”

Me: “The PlayStation won’t fix it, Dad! It’s not linked to the remote.”

(Then my dad starts raising his voice again and demanding I repair the remote. I turn the TV on at the base and fire up the console. Reluctantly. I go through the menu options, which are few at the time. All the while my dad is just yelling at me for not immediately making the remote work. Again, I recommend that he just try playing with the batteries as the remote may just be idle. As before, he refuses to listen to any logic and instead tries the same tack again.)

Dad: “I KNEW THIS STUPID THING WAS A WASTE OF MONEY! I’M SICK OF THE BLOODY TOYS BREAKING THINGS.”

(My sister walks into the room looking very annoyed.)

Sister: “Dad, why the hell are you screaming?”

Dad: “Because this thing broke the remote!”

Sister: “Dad, that is literally impossible. Here, let me try!”

Dad: “DON’T MAKE EXCUSE FOR HIM! THIS IS HIS FAULT AND HE NEEDS TO FIX IT!”

Sister: “Oh, for goodness’ sake!”

(She snatched the remote out of my dad’s hand, moved the batteries around, and hey presto… the channel changed! My dad went bright red and sat down without a word. After that day, he learned to be a little more objective about solving issues, and he never bugged about the PlayStation ever again!)

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