Not Enough Meat Between Their Ears

(I work evenings, sometimes alone at the pizza store. I don’t mind. It’s fun, and I prefer working alone. I have two young gents come in, about sixteen or so years old. They ask me about doing a half-and-half pizza, and I say yup, they just have to tell me which things are on which side!)

Customer #1: “Okay, can I have a meat-lover’s on one side and deluxe Hawaiian on the other?”

Me: “Sorry, I can’t split a specialty pizza. Just gets too complicated. But I can do, say, pepperoni-bacon on half and ham-pineapple on the other.”

Customer #1: “Oh, okay.”

(A few more minutes of discussion happen. I try to excuse myself as I hear the printer popping out deliveries, but they insist that they are ready to order. Then, the other asks.)

Customer #2: “Half and half, right?”

Me: *smiling as I nod patiently*

Customer #2: “Okay. Can I get half meat-lover’s, half deluxe Hawaiian?”