Not A Corn-Fed Hippy

(A guy dressed as a hippy, with a slightly pungent unwashed odour (with warm cannabis notes) greets me. I notice he’s got a swastika tattooed between his eyebrows. I am Jewish so tempted to find another colleague to help him as it makes me feel uncomfortable; however, I decide that I would not want to inflict his odour on anybody else.)

Hippy: “Hey, man, what are these?”

Me: “Those are Sun Bites.”

Hippy: “Are they crisps?”

Me: “Kinda, they’re corn snacks rather than potato chips.”

Hippy: “So… like Pringles?”

Me: “More similar to Skips or Wotsits. Pringles are potato snacks.”

Hippy: “So…. corn isn’t potato?”

Me: “Nope.”

Hippy: “Ah, MAN! So how does it grow?”

(Wanting to get rid of this crazy swastika hippy.)

Me: “Well, potatoes grown in the ground; corn is grown above ground. You have Pringle roots for Pringles. These come from Sun Bites berries, Skips come from a Skips tree, and Wotsits come from a Wotsits bush — which you have to hunt rather than farm.”

Hippy: *grabs a six pack of Sun Bites and wanders off towards the till, exclaiming as he goes* “Ah, MAN. Oh, wow. Oh ,DUDE. FAR OUT. F****** FAR OUT. Oh, my days. OH, MAN!”

(I vaguely wonder if he is an alien who had been transported here to 2015 equipped with ’70s sayings.)