That Should Shut Him Up For A Period

(I work at a major retail store and often buy items there when I get off. In order to go out the employee entrance with my shopping, I have to show my receipt to the door lady. A manager walks up as I’m giving her my receipt.)

Manager: “Did you buy anything for me?”

Me: “Not unless you need tampons…”

Manager: “Oh, uh…”

Door Lady: “Maybe he could put ’em in his mouth.”