Not Caught With Your Pants Down

(I am a twenty-year-old woman and I recently went to a professional baseball game and bought a jersey there. I like jerseys that are loose and somewhat baggy, so the one I bought is a little long on me. During the middle of the game I go to get something to drink and I am waiting at the top of the stands to be let back down to my seat. A woman in her 60s or 70s has been glaring at me the entire time I’ve been standing there, but I don’t think anything of it. When a twelve-year-old boy walks up to wait, she storms off and returns with a security guard.)

Woman: *points at me* “There she is, Officer! I want her arrested right now!”

(Everyone is staring at me, and the security guard looks very confused.)

Security Guard: “Her? Um, for what, exactly?”

Woman: “For public indecency! Look at her! She isn’t wearing any pants! And with a child right next to her!”

Boy: “Child?! I’m almost 13!”

Me: “Um, excuse me, but I have pants on; I’m wearing shorts. My jersey is long, so it covers them up. See?” *lifts my jersey up to show her that I AM wearing shorts*

Woman: “Oh, um…”

Security Guard: *turns to the woman* “Ma’am, I think you’d better return to your seat.”

(I told my boyfriend what happened when I got back to my seat. He couldn’t stop laughing at the idea of someone thinking I would walk around a public stadium full of thousands of people with no pants on!)