Not Being A Good Sport

(Housemate #1 starts coughing, which worsens as the day progresses. By night, it has gotten so bad, he cannot stop coughing. Concerned, Housemate #2 and I pile him into Housemate #2’s car and drive him to the hospital. While waiting in the ER, paramedics wheel into the bed across a big Samoan rugby player, still in his jersey, with a broken leg. We chat with him and find out that he broke his leg when he ended up in the bottom of a ruck gone bad. Just as we finish the conversation, the doctor comes in to see Housemate #1.)

Doctor: “Okay, [Housemate #1], I have to ask you a few questions. Just the standard questions to figure out your medical history. Please answer them truthfully. Do you smoke?”

Housemate #1: “No.”

Doctor: “Do you drink?”

Housemate #1: “Not much, if at all.”

Doctor: “Please answer this one honestly. I’m not here to judge, all right? Do you do drugs?”

Housemate #1: “No.”

Doctor: “And do you play any sports?”

Housemate #1: “No.”

Doctor: “Good! It can be bad for you.”

Both Of Us: “Yeah…”

(We could not help but sneak a glance at the guy in the bed across…)