Not Behaving Like An Adult

(I work in a sex toy store. Since all of our products aren’t that appropriate, we have very strict policies. Today just happens to be Black Friday and we have gone through some problems already. Keep in mind that I am a really young-looking 30-year-old with an eight-month pregnancy, and I’m hoping to quit soon because I’ll be done with my ten years of medical college. A mother and her seven-year-old daughter enter the store, clearly showing signs of annoyance.)

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am, but your young child cannot be allowed in this store, as we obviously have inappropriate content.”

Mother: “Don’t tell me what to do! And certainly don’t tell me how to parent my child. And you look like a stupid f***** who got herself pregnant when she was in college and had to have a second job to pay for college. Either that or you’re just d*** fat.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’d like to inform you that I’m married and—”

Mother: “What a slut! Pregnant and married at such a young age!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m 30. Anyway, you need to get out. Your child is too young to be in this shop. I’ll have to ask you to leave.”

Mother: *gesturing to her daughter* “This stupid little girl has gotten me thrown out of three shops already!”

(I’m shocked about how rude this customer is being to her own child.)

Me: “Sorry for the inconvenience, ma’am. Feel free to come tomorrow or any other day, but if you’re bringing others, make sure they’re over 18.”

Mother: “Whatever.”

(I see the two walk out, and ten minutes later, the lady returns.)

Me: “Ma’am, I said leave. Your child is too young for this store.”

Mother: *looks confident* “My idiot of a child isn’t here. She’s back at our house.”

Me: *a look of doubt is clearly shown on my face* “You expect me to believe that you got to your car, left, reached your house, dropped your kid off, and made it back to this particular area? Especially in this rush?”

Mother: “Of course. The customer is always right. Now move.”

(She shoves me to the side, grabs a couple of our products, and inspects them. I look around every nook and cranny for her kid for a solid four minutes and she hasn’t moved an inch. I then look around to see if she is in or near another shop close by. Luckily, I see her about seventy feet away. I couldn’t believe that the lady is so ignorant and stubborn that she just left her child to wander the mall! I take the kid into the store and march up to the mother.)

Mother: *to daughter* “What are you doing here?” *to me* “And who gives you the right to touch my child?! Call the manager!”

(I get my manager and tell him the situation.)

Manager: “You did the right thing, ma’am.

Mother: “I know. Now, get this slutty b**** out of here!”

Manager: “I wasn’t talking to you. Now I am. Get out of my store. If I or my employee see your face around here or your daughter alone again, I will call security.”

(I go to take her products away but realize one is missing. It’s, of course, a dildo.)

Me: “Hey, where is the other dildo you were looking at? The pink one?”

(She tried to run away, but a security guard was there, fortunately. We questioned her repeatedly while we waited for the police, and it turns out her dildo was actually in her bag. Thank goodness. She was charged with theft and child abuse, and her child went to live with her dad. Seven years later, the child is the babysitter of my two young children and we like to joke about that really weird day.)