I Do Not Approve This Fire Sale

(I work in a department store, and everyone works for different brands within the store. I am the manager for a designer men’s fashion company. We also have a big-name travel company within our store, which my coworker works for. This coworker comes over to me.)

Coworker: “Hey, I’m organising a vacation for a customer you had earlier today. He bought a jumper off you?”

Me: “Okay?”

Coworker: “Yeah, the thing is, he said the jumper was faulty, so he’s asking that instead of a refund, could I just take money off the holiday?”

Me: “Well, that’s not really how it works. I’ll still have to process the refund in-store.”

Coworker: “Oh, really? Why?”

(I’m getting frustrated at this point, as I can’t see how it isn’t obvious.)

Me: “Well, I only have his word that the jumper is faulty, and I’ll need to see his proof of purchase. In what way is it faulty, anyway?”

Coworker: “It caught on fire.”

(Stunned silence.)

Me: “It… caught on fire? Just spontaneously?!”

Coworker: “Hang on. I’ll go check.”

(I stand in disbelief until the coworker comes back.)

Coworker: “He’s complaining because he went to a restaurant, and set his bag with the jumper inside down on a candle, and it caught on fire, and he wasn’t aware that would happen.”

Me: “If he doesn’t know that putting a woollen jumper on a candle will make it catch fire, I think he has bigger problems!”

(Amazingly, this went on for another 20 minutes, with my coworker pressing for me to give the guy a refund because she wanted to close the deal on the holiday! Without a doubt, the most ridiculous customer complaint I’ve ever received.)