Not Always Right Is Never Wrong

(As an eager young sixteen-year-old, I get my first job as a busboy for a local pizzeria. While training me on my responsibilities, the manager tries to impart some timeless wisdom to me.)

Manager: “Customer service is important. You’ve heard the saying, I’m sure: ‘The Customer Is Always Right.'”

Me: “Yes, I’ve heard that.”

Manager: “Well, don’t believe it. Nine times out of ten, the customer is a f****** moron.”

Me: “…”

Manager: “But here’s the thing: the customer may be the biggest g**d*** sack of s*** d****ebag idiot out there, but we want to take his money from him. So, we let him think he’s right. If he says he’s the f****** king of France, what do you say to him?”

Me: “May I clear those plates, your majesty?”

Manager: “You’re going to do fine.”

(Thus began my cynical career in customer service…)

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