Your Old Days Are Numbered

(We’ve been together for about two years and have never had the ‘numbers talk.’ I knew his number was high and didn’t care. He’d told me he didn’t care what mine was but didn’t want to know.)

Me: “Okay, what’s your number?”

Boyfriend: *pauses and gives me a puzzled face* “I honestly don’t know.”

Me: “Come on! Ballpark. 20-100? 100-500?”

Boyfriend: *looking frustrated* “I don’t know! Somewhere between 10 and 10,000!”

Me: *sigh* “I guess I’ll take that.”

(Two minute pause.)

Me: “Just in case you’ve ever wondered, my number isn’t even in that range.” *meaning less than 10*

(He responds without missing a beat.)

Boyfriend: “You slut!” *stands up abruptly and strides away*

Me: *speechless*

(He was just looking for a dramatic departure while he refilled his soda. We’ve been together six years now and I still affectionately refer to him as my Mr. 10,001.)