Not Always Mostly Working

(About 28 days ago I bought an awesome laptop bag. The bag broke before the 30-day return period is over. With the receipt and tags from the bag in hand, I take it back to the store I’d purchased it from.)

Me: “Hey, I need to return this. Here’s my receipt. I’m kinda bummed, because this was a great bag, but the zipper gets stuck on a misshapen tooth.”

(The clerk examines the bag. He looks it over, inside and out, then proceeds to wrench on the zipper pull like his life depended on it. He forces the bag to zip completely.)

Clerk: “There you go. I fixed it.”

Me: “But you can see that there is a crooked tooth in the zipper. It’s going to get caught again and I’ll have the same problem.”

(As if to demonstrate how he’d “magically” fixed my bag, the clerk begins sawing on the zipper pull again. Sure enough it ends up stuck halfway once again. More wrenching on it gets the bag closed again.)

Clerk: “See?”

Me: “That doesn’t really fix the problem.”

Clerk: “Well, it mostly works now. Just keep it.”

(The clerk pushes the bag back across the counter to me.)

Me: “No. I didn’t pay money for a bag that will ‘mostly’ protect my laptop. I have my receipt. I am within the return period. I want to return this defective bag.”

Clerk: “Well, I fixed it, so it’s not really defective. And it’s obviously been used so I can’t return it without manager approval.”

(The clerk calls the manager, who saunters over and examines the bag.)

Clerk: “She says she’s returning it because it’s defective, but it’s not. I fixed it.”

(The manager starts doing the same insane yanking on the zipper that the other clerk had done. It takes some effort, but she manages to get it open and closed around the broken tooth of the zipper.)

Manager: *sighs in defeat* “Okay. It’s not defective, but I will let you return it just this once.”

(The manager rang it up and handed me my cash. I left the store, completely bewildered at how a simple return within the 30-day return window and with a receipt had become such an ordeal!)