Not Always Indeed

Male Customer: “Hi, we’d like to get two Frappuccinos.”

Me: “Sure, what kind?”

Male Customer: “What was that kind we wanted?”

Female Customer: “The java chip ones.”

Me: “Alright, what sizes would you like?”

Female Customer: “Grandes.”

Male Customer: *almost at same time* “Ventis.”

Me: “So… you’d like a grande, and you would like a venti?”

(The customers look at each other.)

Female Customer: “No. We have to have them the same.”

Me: “Oh, alright. So, which size would you both like then?”

Male Customer: “Ugh, obviously what I said! Obviously, you’re not married!”

Female Customer: “Seriously, you young single feminists! You’d be wise to learn that husbands and wives always do things the same! And you are to be submissive to him! How else do you think our marriage has lasted so long?”

Me: “Ah, well, I actually am married, and my husband and I like to do things differently from each other. We find it keeps things interesting.”

Female Customer: “Your marriage is doomed! Oh, I can’t believe the attitude of you young people. Just make us the Frappuccinos so I don’t have to look at you anymore!”

Me: “Alright, two venti java chips, coming up…”

(The whole time I’m making these, I hear them having an argument about how the woman will never be able to drink the whole thing and it was a waste of money, she really would have liked a different flavor, etc.)

Me: “Here you go, two venti java chip Frappuccinos.”

Male Customer: “You’re way too young to be married, by the way! What is it with you teenagers and taking marriage so lightly?”

Me: “Well, I’m actually twenty-six, and my husband and I dated for over seven years before becoming engaged.”

Male Customer: “NO!”

Me: “…Sorry?”

Male Customer: “No! You’re lying! You’re obviously a teenager and you obviously got married without thinking about it first!”

Female Customer: “…And it’s doomed to fail because you clearly don’t know how a real marriage works! And don’t argue! The customer is always right!”

Me: “Not always…”