Not A Standard Reaction

, , , | Right | June 27, 2020

I work at a tobacco kiosk. One evening, a customer comes in wanting to buy some cigarettes.

Me: “Hello, sir, can I help?”

Customer: “Yes, can I have a standard [cigarette], please?”

Me: “Sure!”

I go over and pull out a pack that contains what he asked for and charge him. He pays and is about to leave, until he returns to me.

Customer: “Excuse me?”

Me: “Yes, sir?”

Customer: “I didn’t ask for these.”

Me: “You asked for them in standard, sir.”

Customer: “No, I asked for the longer ones.”

Me: “Oh! I’m sorry; I’ll swap those over for you.”

I pull out the longer pack and proceed to swap them… until he stops me again.

Customer: “No, those are too big!”

Me: “What do you mean, sir?”

Customer: “I want the standard-size pack! These ones I just bought are too small!”

Me: “But you’re holding them, sir.”

Customer: “No, you have given me the smallest ones! I want the standard!”

Me: “Sir. Did you want the biggest ones we do, or the smallest ones?”

Customer: “The standard!

Me: “Okay, sir, allow me to put it simply. We do them in two sizes only: large and small. You have just bought the small ones. They are known as the standard size.”

The customer looked at the pack in his hands for a few seconds and eventually walked off grumbling. I wanted a cigarette after that, and I don’t smoke!

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