Not A Member And Maybe That’s A Good Thing, Part 2
I am running the register on a very slow day when a customer approaches with two baskets of three-ounce cans of cat food. She dumps both baskets on the conveyor belt.
Me: “Hi there. Do you have a [Store] membership?”
Customer: “No.”
Me: “Would you like to sign up? It’s free and—”
Customer: “No!”
She rolls her eyes.
Me: “Okay.”
I look at the cans on the conveyor belt.
Me: “Are these organized in any particular way? I can enter them in groups if—”
Customer: “No! Jesus f****** Christ, just check me out!”
Me: “Okay, then.”
I only get through a few cans before the woman slams her hand down on the scanner.
Customer: “Stop! These are supposed to be forty-six cents each! Why are they coming up at fifty-one cents?”
Me: “Oh. Let me see what’s going on.”
I think I know what the problem is, but I decide to do a price inquiry anyway just so that the customer can see why the cans aren’t ringing up as she thinks they should. The reduced price is a membership perk.
Me: “The cans are forty-six cents with our free membership; otherwise, they’re fifty-one cents. I can still enroll you if you’d like the membership price.”
Customer: “I am not signing up for your stupid program.”
Me: “Okay.”
I continue scanning. The customer starts slapping the card reader with her checkbook.
Customer: “Stop! Stop, stop, stop!”
I stop and take a breath before speaking.
Me: “Yes, ma’am?”
Customer: “I just told you those cans were forty-six cents!”
Me: “With the—”
Customer: “Fix it!”
Me: “They are forty-six cents with the membership you’ve declined twice.”
Customer: “Why do I have to be a member to get the cheaper price? This is stealing!”
Me: “You must be a member to get the membership price.”
Customer: “Can’t you just pretend I have the membership? This is ridiculous!”
Me: *With thinly-veiled annoyance* “That would be fraud. These cans are fifty-one cents each unless you sign up. Do you want them or should I cancel the purchase?”
Customer: “Fine!”
I continue scanning the cans, ignoring her stream of complaints. Finally, all the cans — about a hundred — are scanned in.
Me: “Okay. Your total is $51.”
Customer: “I did the math while you were robbing me blind. It should be $46 because the cans are forty-six cents.”
I just say nothing.
Customer: “Well?”
Me: “Yes, ma’am?”
Customer: “Aren’t you going to offer me some kind of compensation for wasting my time?”
Me: “Such as?”
Customer: “Such as giving me the cans for the right price!”
Me: “They are the right price.”
Customer: “Well, you took too long scanning them all!”
Me: “If they were organized, I could have entered them by the UPC, but they weren’t.”
Customer: “Isn’t that your job?”
Me: “My job is to make sure no product leaves this store without being scanned and paid for.”
Customer: “You’ve just lost a customer. I hope you’re happy.”
Me: *Politely smiling* “Will that be cash or card?”
Customer: *Glaring at me* “Card.”
The payment went through and her mile-long receipt was printed.
Me: “All right. You have a nice day, ma’am.”
Customer: “Burn in Hell.” *Storms out*
Question of the Week
Tell us your story about a customer who couldn't understand the most simple concept.
