Not A Happy Camper

(It is the beginning of July. I’m at a two-week summer camp with my friends, who I only get to see a few times a year. My mom calls me on my cell phone.)

Mom: “You need to come home with us on Sunday.”

Me: “Why? Did something happen?”

Mom: “Your grandma is throwing your birthday dinner party. You need to be there.”

Me: “What? No! My birthday was the beginning of May, and they know I’m at camp! Why would she plan this in July?”

Mom: “I don’t know, but you need to come with us. When can I pick you up?”

Me: “Um, you can’t pick me up. I’ve already paid all my meals and activity fees, and it wasn’t cheap. I’m not missing a day with my friends just because you want to celebrate my May birthday in July.”

Mom: “You need to lose the attitude problem or I won’t bring you back!”

Me: “This is ridiculous! I’ve been planning this trip since spring; why can’t we do this next weekend when I’m home?”

Mom: “Because I’m your mother and you won’t talk back to me! We will have your party without you if you don’t come!”

Me: “Fine, I don’t care anymore.”

Mom: “Your friends are being a bad influence on you! I can’t believe how b****y you’re being! You’ll never, ever see them again if this is how you behave!”

(My mom hangs up in a huff. I find my best friend, and cry because of how my mom made me feel. The Monday after my party date, my mom texts me and says that the party was great, and I shouldn’t have missed it. I can’t believe that everyone in my family was okay with having my birthday party so far from my actual birthday, and without me there.)