Not A Believer Of The Fever

(I am scheduled to work on Sundays and Mondays, but on Tuesday I catch a bad strain of flu. I send my boss three emails to make sure she knows I won’t be able to work. However, on Sunday morning she rings my house, and as I am sick in bed my father answers the phone.)

My Dad: “Hello, [last name] residence.”

Boss: “WHERE’S [my name]?! She’s not at work!”

My Dad: “[My name] is sick in bed, and—”

Boss: “Sickness is no excuse! If she doesn’t come in, she’s fired!”

My Dad: *calmly* “[My name] went to the doctor on Wednesday, got diagnosed with a bad strain of influenza, and is currently in bed resting. She is on four different kinds of medication, and sent you three separate e-mails at least five days in advance letting you know that she wasn’t going to be able to work today and tomorrow. I know you received them because you responded to two of them calling her a liar and saying that her illness was ‘just a head cold.’ I don’t know how you thought you could diagnose my daughter through the internet, but you have had ample notice that she is incapable of work right now, and I can vouch as to her genuine illness.”

Boss: “I DON’T HAVE TO DEAL WITH SOMEBODY AS IRRATIONAL AS YOU!” *hangs up*

(Incredibly, the next time I came into work I was fired because I didn’t show up when I was sick!)