Noon, Not Too Soon

(One of my regulars walks into the store on a Sunday morning.)

Customer: “Sir? Are you selling alcohol today?”

Me: “Yeah, but not until noon.”

(The man stares at me blankly before replying.)

Customer: “So, like one?”

Me: “No, at noon.”

Customer: “So, one then?”

(I am rather confused at this point because I know he hears what I’m saying.)

Me: “No, noon’s before one.”

(He starts getting really upset with me.)

Customer: “What is this ‘noon’? I don’t know what a ‘noon’ is! Where is a ‘noon’ on a clock? Does it say ‘noon’ on your clock? When is that?!”

(I stand there dumbfounded for a few seconds.)

Me: “Twelve, sir.”

Customer: “Thank you!” *leaves store*