Non-Stick Means They’re Easy To Pull Up

(Very worried about my husband getting a motorcycle, I go shopping for protective gear.)

Me: “Excuse me, do you have Teflon-coated pants?”

Shop Assistant: *slightest pause* “Certainly, right this way.”

(It wasn’t until afterward that I realised what I said. He kindly sold me Kevlar pants without batting an eyelid or making a frying pan joke, and I’m sure was laughing afterward. It was a pointless purchase, anyway. The bike landed on his knee and smashed the top of his tibia. Day one. Not even on the road. Oh, well.)