Non-Cents-ical Service

| Working | October 1, 2013

(I notice I have an almost-flat tire, and I stop at a gas station to pump the tire back up. I realize I’m out of change, so I go inside to get some quarters for the pump.)

Me: “Can I get change for a dollar? The tire pump only takes quarters.”

Clerk: “Sorry, you have buy something to get change from the register, no exceptions!”

Me: “Okay fine. I’ll take a $1 lottery scratch-off ticket, and I’ll give you a dollar extra for change.”

(He takes the two dollar bills, and rings me up for the ticket. Rather than giving me change, he hands me the ticket and the extra dollar bill back, and closes the register.)

Me: “What the heck, man; I need four quarters back for that dollar. That’s why I bought the ticket!”

Clerk: “I don’t know what to tell you; I can’t open the register unless you buy something else.”

(I’m pretty mad. I take my ticket and my dollar and walk out to my car. Before I go to a different station, I take a second and scratch off my lottery ticket. Suddenly, I’m compelled to walk back inside.)

Me: “I’d like to cash in my winning lottery ticket, please.”

Clerk: *scans the ticket, which opens the register* “Hmm, looks like you won a dollar.”

Me: “And I’ll take it in quarters, please.”

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