No Way To Sugarcoat This Pill

CONTENT WARNING: Mention of drug usage

Our manager is lovely but also super naïve about the real world. He was raised in a very religious environment so sometimes isn’t aware about certain things. I am clocking in when I overhear the chef march over towards my manager.

Chef: “[Manager], I know you’re technically the hiring manager when we’re recruiting but in the future, I think you need to consult me when hiring anyone for the kitchen.”

Manager: “Why?”

Chef: “The new guy you hired isn’t going to work out. I just told him to leave.”

Manager: “What?! That wasn’t your call! Why did you do that?”

Chef: “Do you really have to ask? Did you see the size of their pupils when you interviewed them? Or when you showed them around on their first day?”

Manager: “I don’t understand.”

Chef: “[Manager]… this guy drops more pills than a three-fingered pharmacist. If we shook him, he’d rattle.”

Manager: “Are they on medication? Do I need to mark them down as sick?”

Chef: “[Line Cook] found them taking their “morning bump” of Molly.”

Manager: “You’re speaking in words that aren’t making sense!”

Chef: “He’s a drug user! He pops pills all day! He’s so out of it half the time he’s breaking more plates than I can count!”

Later I also overhear the manager relaying this conversation to the assistant manager, who I later learned was present for the final few questions of the job interview.

Manager: “Oh… well, yes, that is a good reason to let someone go. How was I supposed to know from just an interview?”

Assistant Manager: “Maybe next time when they ask if we drug test don’t hire the ones that shout “score!” and try to fist bump you when you say no.”