No Warm Fuzzies Here, Only Cold, Wet, Drippies

It’s the end of a particularly bad, cold, and rainy day, and I am complaining to my coworker while we get ready to leave.

Me: “I just couldn’t really get anything right today. I don’t know where my head is.”

Coworker: “I was gonna say, ‘Up your a**,’ but maybe it’s not the right time.”

Me: “No! No, you’re right! That’s exactly where it is!”

Coworker: “Is it at least warm?”

Me: “No! It’s cold! Because it’s closer to my heart!”