No Such Thing As Judgement-Free Pizza

(My coworker and I love giving each other crap, and some of the stuff we say to each other can be alarming to others. We are rearranging the office. Before the move, I had a cubicle in the back corner, so I was able to snack without anyone seeing. Now, I have a desk right by the front door.)

Me: “I don’t know if I like this change. I can’t eat discreetly anymore.”

Coworker: “Why do you have to be discreet? Do you think people are keeping track of how much you’re eating?!”

Me: “Maybe.”

(Every time she passes my desk and I’m snacking:)

Coworker: “Wow, eating again? I better write that down.”

Me: *evil glare with pizza in my mouth*