No Such Thing As A Free Lunch

(I work in a restaurant where you can have unlimited free salad with every main course. You can also purchase just salad on its own. This occurs one afternoon after a man comes to the bar, orders one starter, and helps himself to no less than six bowls of salad. When it’s clear he’s not going to order a main, I go over to him.)

Me: “Hello there, would you like to order your main course now?”

Customer: *looks angrily at me* “No, I don’t want a main.”

Me: “I’m afraid our unlimited salad bar is only free with every main course, so you will have to order a main or pay for the salad.”

Customer: “I can’t believe this; I’m not paying for salad. It says it’s free.”

Me: “Well, it is free with every main meal, so you need to order a main course. Let me get you a menu.”

(I walk off to get him a menu and to let the manager know what’s happening. He’s pretty blunt when talking to me but always supports us. He sees the guy on the camera and loiters by my till as the guy is pretty big and rather aggressive in his tone. When I go back to him, he is still there and standing near the till.)

Me: “Have you decided on your main?”

Customer: *mumbling complaints* “I can’t believe this; this is ridiculous, having to pay for free salad.”

Me: “It’s only free with a main. You can pay just for the salad, which is obviously cheaper.”

Customer: *pays for the salad reluctantly* “I can’t believe this. It’s disgusting! What sort of a place makes you pay for salad?!”

Me: “A restaurant!”

(He stormed out and my boss, who was watching the entire exchange, snorted and disappeared into the office where I later found him crying with laughter. He tried to tell me off but failed miserably.)