No Splinter In Their Relationship

| Romantic | March 19, 2017

(I’m well known for being extremely clumsy and unlucky. My wife comes home from work around four am. I’m in bed asleep, and roll over to greet her when a sharp pain stabs me between my toes.)

Me: “OW! What in the—”

Wife: “Oh no, what did you do now?”

Me: “Foot, foot, foot, ow—”

Wife: “You… you have a splinter between your toes.”

Me: “What?! It wasn’t there when I went to bed. How did I give myself a splinter in my sleep?!”

Wife: *sighs and gets the tweezers* “I want to say I’m surprised, but honey, you always damage yourself somehow. You’ve been okay lately, so I guess you were due.” *looks at my other foot* “What’s that?”

Me: “What’s what?” *she pokes the top of my foot and I howl in pain* “WHAT DID YOU DO?!”

Wife: “Oh-kay. Time to call a doctor!”

(I had a cyst on my other foot that was also on my tendon. I wound up needing surgery to remove it. Love hurts!)

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