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No Speed Test For You!

, , , , | Working | September 14, 2020

At my workstation, the computer I am using is acting balky and sluggish when I try to process customer’s orders, so I try using a popular speed test website to test my connection. I am getting approximately 900kB down and 100kB up while all the terminals around me are getting a typical 5MB down and 640kB up. It’s clearly a connection problem, so I put in a trouble ticket to the people in IT.

The next morning, I come in and my computer is still sluggish, so I go to run a speed test and a message advises I do not have authorization to access that website. This time, I phone someone in IT.

Me: “Hi. I’ve reported a problem with my workstation computer and now I’m not able to access [website] to run a speed test. What’s wrong?”

IT: “One moment, I’ll check… Ah, yes, you don’t have authorization to access that website.”

Me: “Oh, really? I put in a trouble ticket explaining that there is something wrong with my connection and your department’s solution is to take away my ability to prove it’s broken? You will give me access to [website] again so I can prove to you there is a problem.”

IT: “I don’t have the authority to give you access to [website]; only a manager does.”

Me: “I don’t care. I am not letting this call go until I have access to [website] back.”

Disconnecting on an internal call can bring down real grief on whoever does it.

IT: “I’m going to call my supervisor.”

A few minutes later…

Supervisor: “I’ve been advised that you want access to [website]?”

Me: “Yes.”

I repeat what I told the IT tech.

Me: “Now, get my access back so I can prove my system is broken, and then you can get someone to fix it. I’ll wait.”

The supervisor authorizes me to have access to [website] again, and I run the speed test and give him the numbers.

Me: “Now that you have the information, do you mind getting someone to fix my system this time?”

Supervisor: “We’ll have someone look into it.”

Me: “Thank you.”

It turned out I had a bad port on the server and it had to be replaced. Afterward, my workstation performed normally.

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