No Room For Your Kind At The Table

(I work as a server at a restaurant on nights and weekends. On Sunday, during the after-church rush, a short, angry woman with three young kids in tow barges past the host and grabs my arm as I am walking to a table.)

Woman: “YOU! Tell me what this disgrace is.”

Me: *confused, trying to pull my arm away* “Uh, I’m sorry? What seems to be the trouble?”

Woman: *tightens her grip* “I want you to tell me WHY someone is at MY table!”

Me: “Did you have a reservation for today? We’re pretty booked because of the holiday. If there’s been a mix-up we can fix it.”

Woman: “Of course I didn’t! I shouldn’t need to. I come here every Sunday–” *I have never seen this woman in my life* “–and I always sit right there! Why have you allowed those tramps to steal it from me?” *she points at the ladies at “her” table*

Me: “Ma’am, those ladies have been seated there for a while, and they got here first. We don’t reserve individual tables outside of our party room.”

Woman: *finally letting go of my arm to throw her hands in the air* “Well, what kind of customer service is this? Go get your manager!”

Me: “If you insist, ma’am.”

(I ask my host to call the manager over as I am not supposed to stop serving unless there is an emergency, and this is not one. When I turn back around, this woman has gone over to the ladies at ‘her’ table and began to yell at them.)

Woman: “Why are you [homophobic slurs] sitting at MY table?!”

Lady #1: “We’re sisters, and we got here first. Back off, lady; we’re trying to eat!”

(I quickly rush over.)

Me: “Ma’am, I can’t allow you to yell at other patrons. These ladies have done nothing wrong.”

Woman: “I told you to get your manager! Where is he?”

Me: “Ma’am, she’s coming. In the meantime please let these ladies enjoy their dinner in peace.”

Woman: “You let these [slurs] eat in your restaurant, AND steal my table?” *turning to the sisters* “This is Trump’s America and you are not welcome!”

Manager: “Ma’am, enough! I need you to stop yelling at these people and leave. Anyone is welcome here, but you aren’t welcome to harass our patrons as you please.”

Woman: “Corporate will hear about this from me!” *turning to stare coldly at me* “I will have your job.”

Kid #1: “Mommy, if we have to leave then where are we eating now? I’m hungry.”

Woman: “I don’t know, sweetie. This mean [homophobic slur] wants you to starve.”

Me: *as an actual gay man, shocked into silence*

Woman: *smiling wickedly back at me while leaving* “Better find another job soon!”

Lady #2: “Thank you for getting her away from us.”

(My manager offered them free desserts and we never did hear from corporate. My manager actually let me have an extended break and I got a pretty big tip from the sisters for handling her well, too.)