No Rheum For Argument

, , , , , | Healthy | September 27, 2020

I’m visiting my rheumatologist to discuss changes to my medication. The last time I visited, I had a bad reaction to an injection for my autoimmune disorder and I am looking to switch. He’d also started me on another medication that didn’t seem to have any effect, so I’m wondering what the next step is.

Me: “I don’t want to use [Medication #1] anymore. I was in so much pain for the week after that I could barely walk. Just standing up made me nauseous.”

Doctor: “Hmm… Well, [Medication #1] is the safest one for pregnant women, and you never know when you might get pregnant. I wouldn’t want to take a risk with another medication.”

Me: “Um… like I said before, I’m not going to get pregnant. I need to move to a different medication.”

Doctor: “You know, a colleague of mine had a patient that said the same thing, and only two weeks later, she found out she was pregnant. It happens.”

Me: *Frustrated* “I don’t have sex with men.”

The doctor looks at me blankly for about a minute.

Doctor: “Ah. Well, we can start you on [Medication #2]. It’ll take at least two weeks to get your insurance to approve it, though.”

Me: “That’s fine.”

Doctor: “And how about the [Ineffective Drug]? Has anything changed?”

Me: “No, not that I can tell.”

Doctor: “Good. I just wanted to see if there were any side effects. I’ll send in a refill so we can start treating your fibromyalgia.”

Me: “Um… what? I don’t have fibromyalgia.”

Doctor: *Casually* “No, you definitely do. It’s pretty common to develop fibromyalgia along with an autoimmune disorder.”

As I’m sitting there, trying to process what he just told me, he opens the door and waves me out into the lobby.

Doctor: “Okay, let the girls in the front know that I need to see you in two weeks. Have a good day!”

I did not have a good day.

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