No Returns, Period

(Our store has a policy that if an item of lingerie has tags and a receipt, and is in resaleable condition, we will refund it if it is not reduced by 50% or more.)

Customer: “Can I have a refund on this, please?” *puts bag on counter*

Me: “Okay, is it lingerie?”

Customer: *snorts* “Of course it is.”

(I tip out the bag. It contains a single pair of briefs that match a bra we also sell.)

Me: “So, you want to return these briefs? Do you have the receipt?”

Customer: *digs through her purse* “I have it in here somewhere.”

Me: “Um, there’s a… mark… on the inside of these briefs. I don’t think I can return them even with a receipt.”

(There is a large, very obvious blood stain on the inside of the briefs. I cannot return an item in this condition unless it is seriously faulty. I am already feeling concerned that I have handled the item before knowing about the blood stain.)

Customer: “Why not?! They don’t fit! When I bought them, the girl said I could return them with the tags and receipt!”

Me: “I’m sorry, we can only return items in a resaleable condition and these aren’t so.”

Customer: “She said I could return them with tags and a receipt! I have both, so you have to give me a refund!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but there’s a blood stain on these. We can only return items that are faulty or in a resaleable condition. I’m familiar with all our products and I know these aren’t faulty. Because of the stain, we can’t resell them so I can’t process a return either. I’m really sorry.”

Customer: “But she said I could return them with a receipt and tags! I want to speak to a manager!”

Me: “I will get a manager, but it won’t change anything.”

(I go to get our department manager.)

Manager: “I’m sorry, but you can only return items in a resaleable condition. Even if you wanted an exchange, which you don’t, these have a blood stain so I can’t allow you to return them.”

Customer: “BUT THE GIRL SAID I COULD RETURN THEM WITH TAGS AND A RECEIPT, WHICH I HAVE!”

Manager: “If you wanted to return them, you should have tried them on over another pair of pants so they wouldn’t become stained with blood. You have put my staff at risk by trying to return them in this condition, and I am not prepared to even offer you an exchange given the condition you have presented this item in. In the future, please try on briefs when you are not at ‘that time of the month’ and there won’t be a problem.”

Customer: *gives manager a mortified look and scuttles out*

Me: *to my manager* “Thank you!”

Manager: “Go wash your hands. I’m sorry you had to deal with that!”

(I washed my hands about ten times until I felt like I’d taken a full layer of skin off!)