Has No Reservations About Bribery

, , , | Right | February 12, 2018

(I am working the front desk on one of our busiest nights of the year. Predictably, we are entirely sold out. A guest comes to the desk:)

Guest: “I’m here to check in.”

Me: “Yes, sir. What was your last name?”

Guest: “Oh, I don’t have a reservation.”

Me: “Oh, I’m very sorry, sir, but we are entirely sold out tonight.”

Guest: “What? You don’t have any rooms at all?

Me: “No, sir. I’m afraid not.”

Guest: “Oh… That’s a shaaaame…”

(The guest then pulls out a wad of bills and starts thumbing through them very deliberately while giving me meaningful looks. This is actually a tactic people try to pull fairly often, and it pisses me off every time that someone thinks I’ll be willing to throw another guest out on their ear just because they flashed some cash at me.)

Guest: “Are you suuuuuure?”

Me: *flatly* “Yes. We are sold out. No rooms.”

Guest: “Reeeeally?”

Me: “Really. Excuse me; I have to check in the person behind you. You might check around, but most places are probably booked tonight.”

(The guest lingered in the lobby, trying to catch my eye while his girlfriend pouted behind him. Finally, they both left huffily. Sorry. My integrity has a higher price tag than you can afford, buddy.)

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