No Point Crying Over Spoiled Milk

(I’m standing in line to get a few essentials at a chain drug store that I frequently shop at. On this day, there is a new cashier. This exchange happens with the customer in front of me.)

Customer: “I’m returning this! Your f****** store sold me bad milk! I want my money back, NOW!”

Cashier: “I’m sorry about that ma’am… Um, can you hold for just a second so I can get my manager? I’m still new and don’t—”

Customer: “I don’t give a s*** and I am NOT waiting any longer! Give me my money NOW!”

(By this time the manager has come up, no doubt drawn by this woman’s shrieking.)

Manager: “What seems to be the—”

Customer: “Your d*** idiot cashier won’t do my refund! You gave me bad milk and I want my money back!”

Manager: “I’m very sorry about that, ma’am. She’s new and doesn’t know how to do a refund yet. But if you show me your receipt, I’d be happy to help.”

Customer: “I don’t have my f****** receipt! You sold me bad milk!”

Manager: “Well, ma’am, I need to be able to look up the purchase. Do you have a loyalty card you used? Or if you used a credit card I can look it up—”

Customer: “H***, no, I don’t have your d*** card! I paid cash, so give me my cash!”

Manager: “Ma’am, I’m sorry but that isn’t—”

Customer: “You’re all just trying to f****** rip me off! You sold me bad milk; my kids could have gotten sick! I never get good service!”

(She continues to scream at them both while demanding her refund. I’ve finally had enough.)

Me: “Hey! IDIOT! If you would shut the f*** up for two seconds, you would probably have been able to get a store credit at the least, but you stood here and shouted at these two girls for doing their job!”

Customer: “Shut up, you stupid b****! It’s not your concern!”

Me: “It is when you are holding me up! You’re being unreasonably rude. And before you claim they sold you ‘bad milk’ read your d*** expiration date!”

(The milk’s label said the sell by date was in fact today.)

Me: “Yeah, so, no, they didn’t. You bought milk and it went bad. Stop abusing them and get the h*** out of here, or I will dump that ENTIRE gallon on your head!”

(The customer stammers and huffs before bolting out of there, leaving the spoiled milk.)

Manager: “[Cashier], let me introduce you to [My Name]; she’s a regular here.”

Me: “You did fine, sweetie. Can I get two packages of [Nicotine Lozenges] and this pizza, please?”

(I work retail, too, and I can’t defend myself at my store. But I do love telling people off other places.)