No Pizza Is Worth This Much
(I am a 19-year-old female living with my girlfriend. My girlfriend has anxiety and can’t stand it when a man comes near her. Recently, my girlfriend got sick and was hospitalized. To celebrate her recovery and her arrival home, we order pizza. When the pizza arrives, I am on the phone with my dad asking him to bring something for tomorrow.)
Me: “Babe, can you get the door? I’m on the phone.”
(As she goes to the door, she sees it’s a guy. She whimpers and runs back into the kitchen where I’m standing.)
Girlfriend: “[My Name], it’s a man. I can’t do this.”
Me: “It’s okay, babe. I got it.”
(I hang up and go to answer the door. The delivery guy is short, baby-faced, and looks like he’s just started his first year of university. As soon as he sets his gaze on me, I see the wheels in his head start turning.)
Delivery Guy: “Took you long enough!”
Me: “I’m very sorry. I was on the phone.”
Delivery Guy: “I guess I could let it slide if I could… sit in and eat this with you? You’re my last delivery for the night.”
(He smirks and I roll my eyes.)
Me: “No, thank you. I’m good. How much will it be, then?
Delivery Guy: *holding my pizza away from me* “Aw, come on! You are smoking! It’s free if I can get your number and a kiss.” *winks*
(I am so over this guy. I start digging through my wallet and pull out enough to cover it.)
Me: “I’m really not interested.”
Delivery Guy: “Aww. Well, then, maybe just your number? Come on, sweetie. I can show you a good time!”
(He hands me my pizza. I roll my eyes.)
Me: “Look, I’m just trying to have a nice night in with my girlfriend. Here’s your money.”
(His eyes are as big as saucers as he realizes his mistake.)
Delivery Guy: “Eww! I just hit on a [slur]!”
(He then took off running down the hall… without his money. Hey, horny delivery boy, thanks for the free pizza!)
Question of the Week
Have you ever met a customer who thought the world revolved around them?