No One Disables You Like Family

(I work for a disability lawyer, and we hear some interesting reasons for why people believe they should get disability. One afternoon, an elderly woman comes in with her two grandsons.)

Grandma: “I need to, uh, talk with someone about disability.”

Me: “I can help you with that!” *pulls out information intake sheet* “What’s your name?”

Grandma: “It’s not for me, though.”

Me: “Oh! Okay, who is it for?”

Grandma: “It’s for my grandson. He’s gay.”

Me: “Okay…” *looks at the two guys with her, since both are clearly over 21 and considered a legal adult* “Which one…?”

Grandma: “Oh, he’s not here. He won’t come out of his room. He’s gay. He doesn’t want to talk to us or anything.”

Me: “I see. Well, being gay isn’t a disability. Aside from that, if he’s over 18, he would have to call us himself.”

Grandma: “But he’s gay!”

Me: “And that’s not a reason for disability.”

Grandma: “It is for me!”