No Need To Be So Anal About It

(I am currently attending school to get my certification for nail technology. We are practicing our application of acrylics and trying to perfect our liquid-to-powder ratio, as well as how to apply the mixed liquid and powder onto the nail with the brush. The liquid and powder mixture is referred to as a “bead” since it resembles one when you drag the soaked brush tip through the powder. It’s not nearly as easy to create this “bead” as salon technicians make it look, so some of us are still struggling with it, including me. I soak the brush and glide the tip of it across the surface of the powder and somehow manage to get one of the best looking beads I have created.)

Me: “All right! I think I got a good one this time!”

(Just as I go to apply this bead to the practice hand nail, the bead falls off the tip of the brush and onto the paper towel underneath the practice hand.)

Me: “Ugh! Stupid butthole bead!”

Fellow Student: *pauses, snorts, and laughs* “Oh, my God!”

(Only then did I realize what I had just said!)